Triton, an origin story

It’s National Coming Out Day (I just realized). I’m inspired to put this up without overthinking it.

This post is a bit deep and personal. I plan to post on a wide range of topics so stay tuned!

Before making and selling soap and skincare products and fragrances, I was a research coordinator at the School of Public Health at Temple University. I had recently graduated with my Master’s in Public Health from Drexel University. Four months after I graduated my mom died of an aggressive form of cancer that took her down quite quickly. I was able to be there for her at the end. I arrived home later than I wanted to. When her illness took a turn for the worse, I was getting a life and gender affirming surgery on the other side of the country. I was bed bound in a hospital for seven days and then mostly bedbound in an aftercare facility for a month more. The care I received while recovering helped me when I turned my attention to my mom in the last days of her life: rubbing her feet, keeping a medicine binder, letting her know that it IS HARD to be taken care of. It is not a passive or easy thing to do. It takes energy and courage. I knew because I had just been there and felt all of that myself. Albeit, of course, under different circumstances. 

(Picture from June, 2018 at my graduation with my mom and my friends)

That time was profound. I’m still healing. From my surgery. From my loss. And I’d like to think in many ways I’m stronger than I was before. There are also, perhaps, still shattered pieces of myself that I have only begun to notice and turn my attention to. Some parts of me that are still suffering and require my love and attention. 

My mom left me some money. I bought a house. I fixed it up. I got three dogs. Turns out I’m not unique. Grieving makes people want to buy a dog. Grieving for your mom makes you want to buy three. 

The pandemic hit. 

And we turned to screens.

And I couldn’t focus.

And I didn’t care. 

And I lost motivation.

And I quit. 

I was depressed. 

I was sharing a life with someone that I didn’t know.

I found a hobby.

Making soap.

A light turned on. 

Something in me woke up. For the first time. In a while. 

I became obsessed. 

I’ve never loved a thing like I love this thing. 

(from left to right: Jesse, Luna, Francesco, Leo)

I wanted to figure out fragrances and how they worked. Oils and butters and which ones do what. I didn’t know a thing about soap but I learned and it fascinated me.

I wanted to make something that was fun and playful and I wanted it to smell great, look great, and most importantly, feel great on your skin and in your soul. And doing this helped me, helps me, to feel great in my skin and my soul.

(First set of bars, numbered and dated. A sign, I believe, that I knew this thing was important to me from the very beginning)

I’ve been perfecting my body butter recipe. It’s as luscious as it was before, with some additions that provide greater stability in all weather conditions. Available soon! Stay posted.

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I wanted fun queer concepts and characters like “The Leather Bar” and “Cub Scrub”. I wanted soap and skincare for people like me or for anyone. Tourists shopping at Christmas Village for their sister, or puppies in harnesses and short shorts, buying leather scented beard balm for their daddies.

Prior to this, I had never run a business. I worked in non-profits. I’d been a Special Education PE teacher. I’d been a personal trainer. But mostly, I worked in non-profits. I was a traveling musician. A teacher’s assistant. A camp counselor. And I worked at non-profits.

(The babes at Dark Garden Cortestry got me dressed up during some downtime while vending at a leather event, 2023)

I didn’t know a thing about business. But I knew I was onto something. And I was. And I am. I taught myself about scents and it turns out I know some stuff about scents.

The business side of things can be so scary. It’s a behemoth. It can be super isolating. The stress I feel around money is like a poison that seeps into all of my systems, sending cortisol or whatever else, to all parts of me: my brain, my heart, my body. I do a thing I love all day long. I think about a thing I love all day long. I imagine and I dream. And I tend to this beautiful magnificent thing that I’ve created. This thing that can be such a source of richness and joy in my life. This thing that can be like a colic baby, waking me up at night, demanding to be held, needing so much from me and I have no idea how I’m going to give it everything it needs to flourish in this hard cold world. 

(Wedding Favors, 2025)

I’m writing this blog for many reasons. One is that I want an outlet from which to express myself. Since starting my business, I have definitely put up some guards in terms of how I move through the world, being more mindful of the fact that everything I do is a representation of my business. But sometimes that has left me feeling flat. I want to connect in a more genuine way with people who want to connect with me. My friends, customers, community.

And so, here I am. If you made it this far, perhaps you are interested in that. So thanks. And you’re welcome :)

(Dusting soap with a little sparkle, 2022)